Disarming Honesty

  You would measure time the measureless and the 
immeasurable.
  You would adjust your conduct and even direct the 
course of your spirit according to hours and seasons. 
  Of time, you would make a stream 
and you would sit and watch its flowing.  
  Yet the timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness, 
  And knows that yesterday is but today’s memory 
and tomorrow is today’s dream. 
  And that that which sings and contemplates in you
is still dwelling within the bounds of that first moment 
which scattered the stars into space. 
  Who among you does not feel that his power to love
is boundless?
  And yet who does not feel that very love, though 
boundless, encompassed within the centre of its being,
and moving not from love thought to love thought, nor 
from love deeds to other love deeds?
  And is not time even as love is, undivided and paceless?  
But if in your thought you must measure time into seasons,
let each season encircle all the other seasons,
  And let today embrace the past with remembrance
and the future with longing.

                                                    - [Kahlil Gibran on Time

The Heart of a Woman

We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought-that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel uncertain-uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or ever will be.

Aware of our deep failings, we pour contempt on our own hearts for wanting more. Oh, we long for intimacy and for adventure; we long to be the Beauty of some great story. But the desires set deep in our hearts seem like a luxury, granted only to those women who get their acts together. The message to the rest of us -is try harder.

And in all the exhortations we have missed the most important thing of all. We have missed the heart of a woman. And that is not a wise thing to do… the heart is central. “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Above all else. Why? Because our heart is core to who we are. It is the source of all our creativity, our courage, and our convictions. It is the fountainhead of our faith, our hope, and of course, our love. This “wellspring of life” within us is the very essence of our existence, the center of our being. Your heart as a woman is the most important thing about you.

Every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That’s what makes a woman come alive. Her outward beauty would be hollow were it not for the beauty of her heart.

“Suddenly I turned around and she was standing there.
With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair.
She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns.
Come in, she said, I’ll give you shelter from the storm” (b.dylan)

Woman is cursed with loneliness (relational heartache), with the urge to control. Aren’t your deepest worries and heartaches relational - aren’t they connected to someone? Even when things are good, is your vast capacity for intimacy ever filled in a lasting way? There is an emptiness in us that we continually try to feed.

Most women hate their vulnerability. We are not inviting - we are guarded. Most of our energy is spent trying to hide our true selves, and control our worlds to have some sense of security. We are certain that if others really knew us, they wouldn’t like us —- and we can’t risk the loss of a relationship.

We hide with angry silences and punishing withdrawals. We hide out truest selves and offer only what we believe is wanted, what is safe. We act in self-protective ways and refuse to offer what we truly see, believe and know. We will not risk rejection. We hide because we are afraid. We have been wounded and wounded deeply.  

Much of what we call our ‘personalities’ is actually the mosaic of our choices for self-protection plus our plan to get something out of the love we were created for.

[excerpts from Captivating: Unveiling The Mystery of a Woman’s Soul]

one day you’re there
and then all of a sudden
there’s less of you
and you wonder where that part went
if it’s living somewhere outside of you
and you keep thinking
maybe you’ll get it back
and then you realize
it’s just gone